Lt. Starbuck arrested as Cylon Terrorist

Sources have confirmed Colonial Officer Kara Thrace is in custody by order of the Counsel of Twelve.

The Galactic Enquirer has uncovered that as recently as two solar weeks ago,  known Cylon terrorists and infiltrators have been seen partying with famed war hero and once respected Colonial CAG Viper pilot, Kara ‘Starbuck’ Thrace in galactic night clubs and hot spots such as Tatooine’s Mos Eisley Cantina, Quark’s Bar on the Federation’s Deep Space Nine station orbiting Bajor, as well as at Milliways, which is known through out the quadrant as the hippest bar at the End of the Universe.

Just this past weekend, Lt. Starbuck was seen dancing, drinking and laughing the night away with the Cylon designate ‘Six‘, by renowned party-girl and Alderanian royalty, Princess Leia who working through a hang over spoke to the Galactic Enquirer very late on Sunday and said, “It’s disgusting how Thrace would sell out her own race and blatantly fraternize with the enemy! One of the number Six models was directly responsible for nuking Kara’s own home Colony for the God’s sakes!

While Leia and Thrace have been known to close out a space bar or two from time to time, the rebellious princess went on to say, “I won’t ever share a rocktagino in the stellar morning with Kara again. Lt. Starbuck is a Cylon!!!

Thrace and Cylon model number ‘Six’ or ‘Traci’ as she likes to be called when visiting New Terra are not denying their friendship and simply told the Galactic Enquirer that their hanging out at various clubs in the Terran city of Los Angeles, was nothing more than an attempt to promote the upcoming Colonial Reality show about to air over the solar internet.

Thrace even went so far as to send out what local Earther’s like to call a ‘Tweet’, while at the Netflix and related parties in celebration of the Golden Globe parties, which are a symbol of interstellar social Terran media, solar cable and internet marketing power through out the Core Systems. ‘Hangin with my girl tonight @trutruahelfer at the @netflix party #GoldenGlobes.

While some might say that old rivalries need to be discarded when interstellar girls just want to have fun, others through out the Galaxy, want to see Thrace hang for daring to betray her people and the memory of all those Colonials lost at the hands of the Cylon toasters.

Amid the uproar of Lt. Starbuck’s recent indiscretions, the Counsel of Twelve is taking no chances as back lash to the upcoming Sci Fi Channel reality show, which the rag tag colonials seem to be relying on so heavily, seems to be weighing heavily on Colonial polling numbers.

As a result, Lt. Starbuck was arrested early this morning, for flying under the influence as she returned to the Battlestar Galactica and is currently sitting in Colonial custody awaiting her time in front of the appropriate court.

Sources close to the Battlestar Galactica’s bridge cadre seem to suggest that this is nothing more than a horse and pony show to appease the suits at Sci Fi Channel, while others truly worry about Thrace’s future as a Colonial Viper pilot and interstellar reality star, but only time will tell.

Tye Bourdony is the co-owner of as well as the U.S. based content editor for Sci Fi Pulse. Tye is also a Sci Fi cartoonist and creator of ‘The Lighter Side of Sci-Fi’, a mediator, deep space traveler, and the lead interstellar reporter for the Galactic Enquirer. He is also a graduate of the Barry University School of Law, SUNY Purchase and H.S. of Music & Art. Tye currently works in Florida’s 9th Circuit as the staff Family Mediator and has a regular self-published column in Sci Fi Magazine. You can visit Tye on facebook and at or send your thoughts and story/article ideas to [email protected]
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